Continuing with the theme of Meaning Making I will mention another famous author and therapist who wrote the important book Man’s Search for Meaning. Victor Frankl was an amazing man who survived the Nazi death camps. He chalked his survival up to holding on to what was meaningful to him. His memories of loved ones, in spite of losing his whole family, he made the decision to choose; even when no choice was left. This gave him the strength to survive and create.  He later developed a type of therapy called logo therapy or therapy of meaning from the Greek word logos.

We live in a time where there are many choices, sometimes too many! I struggle over tooth paste options when I visit Canada….But really…  Some times too many choices are as bad as not enough.  We can easily be caught up in the game of keeping up with the status quo and forget to consider what the important choices are in life. There is no set list! However, each individual has their own answers. If you are not living your own answers the outcome will be a life less well lived; may be even a life lived in distraction or catering to expectations that are long outgrown.

Distractions are a large part of life. People so often avoid feeling and thinking by getting caught up in escapist fantasies. Many of these activities take them out of their life rather than embracing what they have. If we are honest we can all find areas and times where this is true. Hopefully, it is only occasional. For those that distractions have taken on a full time gig, we need to reevaluate! This is where internet addiction fits in, along with all the other addictions.  I worry a bit when I see my son with his d. s. in hand and cranky when asked to turn it off.  The game itself is not bad, however the time that it takes away form active friendships and activities as well as the resulting irritability after playing to long indicate a need for defined time limits. I sometimes worry it encourages the path of avoidance. Providing there is a well rounded healthy active life this will be less likely. As parents we do have to keep close watch on the video gaming activities and promote healthy outdoor lifestyles and hobbies as well. Parental modeling is especially important as well.

Parents tend to justify their business. I find myself being too busy , sometimes, only to realize that maybe interacting with my son is more important.  There is also the escapism of workaholism; of course this is fostered by society and very hard to give up because of the many rewards it brings. Still, it often interferes with a happy family life and if one truly thinks about it; may allow one to avoid other things and people under the guise of busyness. 

Life asks much of us. Sometimes we may not feel up to the task. It is much easier to avoid than face fears, pain, grief; even intimate relationships provoke cause to avoid the intensity of the other. Each individual is called to engage in actively living and facing up to these fears. In doing so one may meet with painful experience but one may also learn, grow and find happiness, of a sort. The act of living in the face of fear is threatening; however, with each small success one begins the task of taking back one’s life. Much of one’s early life is lived pleasing parents, school teachers, bosses etc.  This is as it must be. But to grow up, one must risk disappointing others, making one’s own decisions and risking being true to oneself. This may be frowned upon by those who have a strong need for acceptance. Until one takes on the task of growing up; there will always be the tendency to conform, follow the pack and never truly engage with life.

Most cultures have hero myths. Joeseph Campbell writes extensively on the cultural meaning, impact and need for myths. A myth-less society can be a soul-less society. 
In primitive cultures the adolescent boys were often kidnapped during the night by the elders of the tribe. Taken away from home, mother and nurturance and taken to the wilds to experience rituals, fear and rites of manhood. We no longer have traditions of passing on the rites and responsibilities of manhood. Not that I am suggesting primitive rites, however we lack traditional rituals for and rites of manhood. The acceptance may be bar and bat mitzvahs.  I have seen many clients who have not been given the torch, so to speak, to take on living life as a grown up. Many fathers, like Saturn, fear being deposed by their sons and keep them wounded or limit the son’s ability to grow beyond them and take on the role of Man hood.

Women continue to have the natural physical changes and abilities to birth and nurture babies that biologically indicate the primitive passing of the torch from girl to woman. This being said, it does not indicate that the woman is mature. We see many babies, having babies. It is almost in vogue these days. The other recent problem is women who are confused with their role. The women who have chosen careers that prohibit motherhood especially those that have an ambivalence regarding their true path or those who want to juggle doing both. These women are creating new paths and suffering the challenges of finding new paths through the forest on their own.  This is another issue in need of ritual and reflection.

As a society and as Individuals we need to strengthen our youth, allow them to find the new mythology at the beginning of this new decade and to encourage reflection, creativity and living meaningfully from a young age. The adult requirement is modeling a life well lived and explored; while staying open to the dialogue that encourages a response to the many changes at play in our universe and the ability to create meaning as an individual, family and society!