Ye gods and little fishes! Iʼm about to commit a sin of such proportions that I blush to think of it let alone confess it! But I do plead extenuating circumstances.
Wendy and I are giving each other ebooks for Christmas thus facing legitimate accusations of hypocrisy if only for an editorial I had recently written supporting the book as we know it, pouring scorn on e-books and the cretins who read them.
I have been a Luddite about modern communications. Itʼs not that I donʼt use some new stuff. I have several iPods and about 11,000 pieces of music in the library. I fiddle with this a lot and am constantly on the lookout for that song or classical theme I heard and spend much fun time locating it.
I accept, with some reluctance, the computer and must confess that I donʼt know how I used write with a two fingered attack on a typewriter.
But back to e-books – how could I, who has a library that is bursting at the seams; the man who haunts used book stores, especially in London and has 41 “new books” lying around even think of an e-book.
It happened thusly.
Wendy and I travel a lot which means lots of plane rides over prodigious distances. We often stay away three weeks or more so we take a lot of stuff with us.
A couple of months ago we travelled to London on a charter flight because itʼs much cheaper than the other options. We were full of our usual good cheer as we got to the check-in desk and put our four bags – two suitcases and two carryons on the scales. The lady frowned and pursed her lips saying you are X kilos too heavy. I thought she meant me and though itʼs certainly true I could lose a bit here and there, thought she was being rude. Then it dawned on me she was talking about our baggage.
Now, airports are a lousy place to get rid of underwear, shoes and, yes books, of which there were 8 for our projected times at sea.
Now itʼs not that the lady wasnʼt helpful. As we ploughed through suitcases she told us that shifting things between us would lower the charges. Whatever that meant, the bottom line was $560! It didnʼt seem that long ago that this was a mortgage payment.
To be fair, some of this went towards upgrading into their cruddy Upper Class because it allowed more weight.
As we looked at our stuff being rearranged it was pretty obvious that books were a big part of our problem. In fact as we licked our wounds with a toddy or two it occurred to us that it would have been cheaper if weʼd thrown the books in the ashcan and bought replacements when we got home.
While on our cruise we met a great couple from Boston and had a great time for the three weeks we cruised the North Atlantic. They had kindles, e-books and I grudgingly, with a feeling that I was betraying old friends, took a look at Dickʼs. I hated to admit to myself that they were pretty slick and easy to use. I found myself saying “hell, I can make whatever font I wish and not have to use a magnifying glass as I must do with many of the books I read. No doubt to save money, non fiction publishers make a magnifying glass essential to these aging eyes.
There will not be the traditional tomes under the tree this year but – this confession is full but I donʼt feel any better for it – when we get on the next airplane, there will be no issues of weight of books.
Will we still buy books?
Of course - but we have started down the slippery slope to modernity and our book buying will be much less except, in my case, for used books which will always tantalize me.
The genie is out of the bottle and the bottle is smashed to smithereens.